How Angels Ought To Smell

Hey Internet, it's been a while.

My last post was made in April. After that, it sort of felt like nothing made any sense and there was no point to updating because the only things I'd have to say would be depressing, boring, or whiney. So I called myself a whaaaambulance and went off the face of the Earth, it would seem.

I had every intention of updating this blog again once this semester started. Had.

Mostly because I wrongly assumed that things would work themselves out over the summer, and that I'd be able to function properly this time.

Summer used to fix everything. Summer used to be a time for me to re-invent myself, or what have you. Oops.

I did actually manage to completely change myself. Just not during the summer. And not to my liking this time.

I've become a smoker. I do stupid things. I stayed relatively lazy, and now it's just getting worse. My self esteem is at an all time low, and I have little to no faith in the things I do or the relationships I make. Nothing makes any sense to me and I really don't care any more.

So why continue with these changes? Probably because I'm self destructive.

Also because for the first time in my life, I actually lack any form of direction.

I stopped being a hardcore gamer. I don't even drool over releases anymore. I can't focus on it.

I have the job I wanted, but it's going nowhere. I work for what I consider to be a dying student-run campus news publication, and I see no plausible way of bringing it back to life. And honestly, it doesn't concern me in the least. I don't care about news anyway. I'm a pretty awful journalist like that.

I'd rather go back to being a short-fiction creative writer than a hard-lined ace reporter. I don't care what other people think, and I probably never will. That might sound stuck up, and that's most likely because it's stuck up to say. Oops.

So yeah, that's that. I can't coherently or willingly stay on topic, apparently. My thoughts are as all over the place as my notebook that literally says "This book belongs to a right brained journalist/artist. Not a crackhead. Sorry.", and I write in spirals and upside down and then box in thoughts in that book. It's unreadable to anyone but me, and sometimes I don't even know what it' says. Again, oops.

The only thing I can actually coherently think about is how destroyed I feel about the fact that I need to move out of my room because my roommate is being an un-cooperative, creepy son of a bitch. I don't feel safe with him being there, and I'm pretty sure he wanted me to get so pissed about the way he behaves that I'd move out. This is what happens when you get stuck with a random. They turn out to be shitty people. Almost always.

Fuck it here's a list.

Putting my life back on track, or the goals and process of doing so:
1) Read books again
2) Write stories and plays again
3) More Zelda, that seems to cheer me up
4) More Kingdom Hearts, fucking love that shit
5) Beat The World Ends With You. Neku's my boy
6) Finish Pokémon Type Ghost
7) Re-start a professional blog that I tried to boot up last year but failed miserably.
8) Do my homework
9) Be proud of myself and the things that I have done
10) Wake up before 2 pm.

Yeah, fuck it. I hate everything.

I am boring, I am bland, I am nothing.

I am exciting, I am entertaining, I am important.

New Found Glory wrote a song called "Hold My Hand" back in 2006. I don't know why, but it's stuck in my head.

That and some other pop-punk.

Fuck.

Watching You Break Down

Yo. I didn't update over break. Sue me. Final Fantasy XIII and Pokémon Black were begging to be played (seriously, Lightning is hot).

My computer has been running incredibly slow as of late. And up until now, I couldn't figure out why. Now that I know, I'm deeply confused. Hurt, even. The culprit was Google Chrome.

I've stated before that I'm a bit of a Google fan-boy. So this crime against my RAM by Chrome feels like a punch in the gut. Why Chrome, why you hog RAM? What RAM do to you? It's kind of upsetting.

When Chrome first launched, I was all over that shit, and it wasn't even on a Mac yet. I made literally all of my friends download it, then make it their default browser (this was easy, I only had three friends in '08). And then I waited, like a kid waiting for Santa, for Chrome to launch on Mac. And when it dead, I almost screamed. I love Google.

And ever since the launch on Mac, I've used Chrome almost exclusively. When I sit down at a computer that doesn't have Chrome, I put Chrome on. Chrome is my friend.

Or so I thought.

(Warning, non-nerds may not know what I'm talking about in this paragraph. I'm sorry.) It seems that Chrome renders each tab as a separate process. This is beneficial to the individual tab, because it allows the browser to devote its full attention to every tab, loading all of them separately, simultaneously. Provided your computer can handle that. My computer, with it's lovely 2 Gigs of RAM, cannot.

These individual rendering processes have taken anywhere from 350 Megabytes total to 1 Gigabyte total. That's just not okay Chrome. I do other shit when I'm browsing the Internet. Stop pretending I have a super-computer. Take me for what I am. I JUST WANT TO FEEL BEAUTIFUL!

What?

On another note, the thorn in the side of the Internet, or Anonymous, as they are more commonly known, is starting to piss me off. Sometimes they do funny things. This is not one of those times. Hacking the PSN, shutting it down, and planning to attack Sony further is not only stupid, it's just plain evil. The only people these jackasses are hurting is the end-users. Which is ironic, because they claim to be "trying to protect them." Consumers are never collateral. People in general are not collateral. Saying bullshit like that puts you on the same level as the Nazis. Oh, wait...

Anonymous stopped being funny when they started going power-crazy. And now they're just out of control. This kind of shit is ridiculous. I'll stop talking about it, because most complaints about what's right or wrong on the Internet fall on troll ears. And there's no way to get trolls to shut up once they start. It's like talking to a five-year-old.

All the crap I just said makes me feel a little bit like Chris Crocker. LEAVE THE PSN ALONE! IT'S A HUMAN! IT'S GOING THROUGH A REALLY ROUGH TIME RIGHT NOW!

You can kill me now.

Topic change. I went to my cousin's Sweet 16 this past weekend, and I actually learned something new. Girls from the ages 14 to 17 are little whores (except my cousin and sister, apparently). Seriously. There was not one girl there (again, save for my family) with a dress below her knees. That would be sort of okay, if they weren't 15 year-olds. Jail-bait, how I hate you. I hate you so much.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with the world? How do these girls get out of the house wearing a dress that resembles a tightly wrapped towel (actually, some towels are bigger than those dresses)? I swear, if my dad caught me wearing that...

Never mind.

It really bothers me that this is the direction the nation's youth is heading. This is not okay. 15 year old girls should not be wearing outfits that scream "wardrobe-malfunction waiting to happen". Who made that okay? Or, more importantly, why was this not made okay when I was younger? Maybe I would have agreed with it back then...

Oh, and to the three girls that winked at me at that party: I'm five years older than you, and I have a girlfriend. You are not more interesting than her. You are a child. Date people your own age and stop dressing like a slut.

LIST TIME!

Things I actually did over break!
B) Sat in my room, wondering what I should do
O) Broke my DS, which I've had for six years...
R) Borrowed my brother's DS and played more Pokémon Black
E) Somehow managed to get into Final Fantasy XIII
D) Got back into playing Pokémon cards (my wallet hates me)
O) Finally got to see my friend Zach
M) Realized I need to stop being lazy, I'm getting chubby

Title Song:
For You, and Your Denial
By Yellowcard
Off of When You're Through Thinking, Say Yes

That album is pretty sweet, especially since it's Yellowcard's return after a rather disgruntling hiatus.

That's all for today folks. I'm going to go soak my face in Oxi-Clean.

When The World Was All Just Me and Paul

Hey readers, sorry for the lack of postings as of late. Things are too hectic out here, and Spring Break could not be more welcome at this time. ROAR.

I've been playing the shit out of Pokémon Black lately, and I have to say, I am still in love with this game. It's freaking awesome. That's all on that though.

<whine>I've done a lot of worrying about things that I don't have much control over (or, really, don't currently have much control over). And it has taken its toll on me. I screwed up one midterm. I barely made it through another. And overall, I've been way angrier and more stressed than I usually am (I'm known for a happy and overbearing disposition). I complain a lot, but I do make an effort to not do so.

In all honesty, I just wish everyone could get along. Things would be so much easier like that.

The only negative effect that this could have is the loss of hardcore music to the world. That'd be a damn shame, but hell, who gives a fuck?

I thought that by the time I got to college, I would have friends and peers that didn't act like high-schoolers. I really hate being wrong. I absolutely hate it. When I'm wrong, things are bad. Almost always. I prefer being right all the time (yes, I'm full of myself, deal with it).

At least spring break is two days away for me. And for the first time in a semester and a half of college, I'm actually happy to go home. Because while I only have three real friends back home, who, I might add, are just as drama filled as my friends at Purchase, I'm not having any problems with them. Nor do I have to bring any drama in to that circle.

I'm just sick of all the bullshit that goes on here when people get sick of each other. And I'm sick of being the one person that just wants everyone to get along all the time, because I end up caught in the cross-fire of any freaking argument my friends might have. </whine>

My break will consist of a bunch of things I do anyway at school. Except I won't have the guilt of not doing homework riding on my back this time.

Things I'm Going to Do During Break
F) Play Dragon Age II
R) Not be a journalist
E) Probably get better at Halo: Reach again
E) Finish Pokémon Black
T) Build my Pokémon team for tournaments
I) Start reading books again
M) JOB TRAINING
E) Convince my parents to get me an iPhone for my birthday.

About that last part; I'm not spoiled. I'm turning 20. I want an iPhone. I'll probably end up paying for half of it. Roar.

I will be relaxing. I will worry about nothing. And I'll LOVE IT. And when I come back to school, shit better get fixed, because I'm not going to let moronic drama throw off my groove anymore this semester.

Also, I miss my mom and her cooking. Say my mom's not the best cook in the world. I dare you. I'll beat a six year old up for saying shit like that.

Today's song is a personal favorite.
"Ode to Kevin Arnold"
By Ludo
Off of the album "Ludo"

I think that I'll be listening to Ludo through April. They're happy as fuck. That'll get rid of all this drama.

I want a cupcake.

He Owes Me One Last Wish

I can't believe it's been about two weeks since my last post. I must have dropped the ball or something.

Well, maybe for a week. But the week that just passed, well, that was Pokémon Black's fault entirely. It's absolutely fantastic, and I couldn't be happier about buying it (which is odd, since I have been regretting many release-date purchases as of late).

Also, I've been stressed out about my job as a reporter, and that's led me to being sick, which I'm pretty sure I am today. Lovely.

First off, I've started a new series of sketches, which, if you've read some of my older posts, I do from time to time, but never upload. I'll start uploading all of them soon. I don't know where. I don't know if you care. They're going up though.

Back on topic, I've decided to start drawing my favorite new Pokémon. You'll find that most of them are the adorable ones. I like the badass looking dragons, but they're just not as fun and cuddly as the cute ones. Snivy is the best.

I'm actually surprised at how well my first attempt at drawing a Pokémon free-hand, without a guide, came out. And by that I mean it's actually really accurate. Yes, there are minor errors. But they are minor. Even I'm pleased with how it came out, and that barely ever happens on the first try.

On another note, a horrible thing happened at Purchase a week ago today. We lost power for about 18 hours. Which is a long time, especially when your DS is dead. And even more so when the new Pokémon game you've been waiting over a year for just came out the night before. Damn it all. At least I got to go out for wings because of it.

What actually concerns me (more than that serious lack of Pokémon bonding time) is the fact that half of my college went primal, in a Lord of the Flies-esque way. There was a huge bonfire, jungle drums, and fireworks. Fireworks. Seriously? Who the hell has fireworks in the middle of March? That's just insanity.

Why does no power all of a sudden mean no rules? It's not like we were in an apocalypse. There was no power. And most of my campus didn't do this, it was just one residential section that went insane. It's funny, but it's also concerning. Especially since they're all hippies, and I didn't know hippies believed in fireworks.

Back on the subject of Pokémon, I am kicking myself for catching for nature and screwing that up. Stupid Victini.

List!

My Favorite NEW Pokémon!
B) Victini
L) Zorua
A) Snivy
C) Haxorus
K) Krookodile

Also, my down key on my laptop is wonky. Great news there, yup.

Today's song:
Song: Jude Law and a Semester Abroad
Band: Brand New
Album: Your Favorite Weapon

Time to go tell my boss I'm sick. Woo.

They've Stolen All My Magic

Radiohead has a new album out. It's called "The King of Limbs", and you should check it out. Because it's awesome.

I usually say that I like being one of the campus video journalists. I like to hear that my camera work is great, or that I really nailed that story to the wall. It makes me feel a little bit better about my work and my future.

I hate the fact that I live on a campus of 4,000, and yet almost all of the people here are afraid of a video camera. It's not just discouraging to me as a reporter. It's downright stupid.

Are students really that dumb that they cannot be recorded saying that they enjoyed a basketball game? It's not okay, and I lose a little bit of faith in humanity every time it happens. Because I'm sure this is not a phenomena unique to SUNY Purchase.

Whatever happened to people dying to get in front of a video camera? Are there no attention whores left?

Obviously that's a bit of a rant. Sorry for those of you who read this and don't give a damn about it. This kind of crap really bothers me.

Maybe I should just become a camera man. Full time. No dealing with people that don't know anything.

Topic change.

My friend Danny got an iPhone. This is a bit of a problem. Allow me to explain.

I have been trying my hardest to not want an iPhone, even though it is now available on Verizon. Why? because I need a new phone and the Droid is infinitely cheaper, and therefore is the more likely phone for me to get.

That being the case, I have avoided all contact with the iPhone 4. I hadn't played with one at all yet. Until Friday.

I got my hands on it, and now I am drooling. The iPhone is way better than the Droid. Sorry Google, the Android marketplace just isn't clean-cut enough.

Being an Apple and Google fanboy, this leaves me torn. I like the fact that the Droid Incredible is cheaper, but it has crappy battery life. The iPhone 4 is better, but it's so expensive.

Call the waaaaaambulance, I think I'm bitching about poor little rich boy problems.

On one final note, I once had a huge addiction to Pokémon (some of you might remember this post outlining my insanity). Well, I think it's back. And it'll probably be back in full force. The new Pokémon game comes out on Sunday, and it's considered the biggest game changer yet. Finally.

List:
Things That I Have To Do That Hinder My Playing of Pokémon:

B) Go to class
O) Edit video
O) Sleep
O) Spend time with my non-Pokémon-playing friends
O) Do homework
O) Be a journalist
O) Play Dragon Age II

Yeah, that last part is silly. But still.

Also, I'm sick. Which puts a major damper on my day and my work in general

Song:
Good Morning Mr. Magpie by Radiohead, off of The King of Limbs.

Like a House of Cards

Google is pissed off at J.C. Penney, and I for one think it's hilarious.

You see, J.C. Penney has been caught red handed manipulating the Google Search Engine. For the past few months, they've been the number one hit for dozens of different things, from tablecloths to dresses to area rugs. They were even showing up before the brand's website sometimes.

And that's not allowed, according to Google.

So what does Google do, since this is actually legal? They push Penney's search results all the way down to the 70th spot, rather than the first. Ouch. I don't even think I go past the 4th spot (unless I'm looking for something that is impossible to find by Googling it). That's insane.

I will never even consider breaking Google's search guidelines and rules. Their wrath is one to be feared.

I would also like to note something else.

I need a new watch. This is, believe it or not, hard to decide. Swatch just has some awesome watches.

I have spent the last 45 minutes to an hour looking at watches, asking my friends to help me decide, and again looking at more watches. I've found them on Amazon, searched for local Swatch retailers, and tried to get them for as cheap as possible with free shipping.

Thankfully, I know most History of Journalism. Muckraking is silly.

There is one thing I really wish I could do in class, that I can't and never could. Edit video. If I was able to do that, my life would be so much easier. I would get literally the only homework I actually get done during classes that I don't pay attention in otherwise. It would be nice, but alas, it's not happening.

I think I'm actually starting another blog/commentary thing. Or something. All I can be 100% sure about is that I have officially changed the name of my video series BrickBreakers to Bears In Suits. Go figure.

List of the day:
Things I Have Been Exposed To Since I Arrived at Purchase:
1) WWE (never would have bothered otherwise)
2) Peep Show (It's Mitchell and Webb)
3) Arcade Fire
4) Apparently I'm a Good Camera man
5) Bezzerwizzer (look it up)
6) Katy Perry actually being good (Shut up)
7) SNL is funny again

That's actually quite a bit...

Anyway, song in the title is:
"Firework" by Katy Perry. Yes. I like Katy Perry. Don't even bother.

The week sucked. Next week should be good. Fingers crossed.

 

I'm Afraid You're Never Satisfied

I'm angry at Fox News right now, which is nothing new. But (this is for those of you who know gaming, otherwise you probably won't care) they finally found a way to truly piss me off. That's all I'll babble about this subject here. I don't expect you guys to want to hear my angry rants about video games, since that's not what this blog is about.

But seriously. Come on. Where the hell do they get off saying things like that? I mean, really.

Oh. Whoa. Did I just... Sorry.

This has been said thousands of times elsewhere, but I have yet to put my two sense in. There is a plague going around this country. A plague on printed documents. And that plague is called Comic Sans MS. Seriously. That font should not be used as often as it is. It's not that it's a bad font. It's sort of fine, I guess. It is, however, quite possibly the most unprofessional font you could possibly use.

The font looks childish. It was made to be used in children's comic books. Not on official notices outside of a hospital. And in this age of technological revolution, the font you choose is pretty much the same thing as having good or bad penmanship. People will judge you on it. And boy do I judge.

There are worse fonts, yes. I sure as hell wouldn't even bother reading any official document written in Cocksure. But that's a different kind of worse. Cocksure is simply inappropriate for anything but sexism and humor. Comic Sans MS looks harmless, even looks inviting. But it is an evil disease.

I've heard that it's easier to read for people with dyslexia. I guess that's okay. But hey, here's an idea! Try finding another font that's just as easy to read. There's got to be at least one.

On the subject of using Cocksure in situations where it's not advised, I should not be allowed to download fonts such as that. Odds are I will write and hand in a paper in that font before I graduate. I'm a terrible student (if that wasn't already obvious by the fact that I blog in class).

Sidenote: I got a job. What?

I'm incredibly tired for no reason today, and that's kind of not okay. I slept well last night. And was happy when I woke up. I haven't done much today. Maybe I need a break. Meh.

Today's list is brought to you by every single freaking time I see Comic Sans in my life.

Places Where I've Seen Comic Sans MS That are NOT Okay:
E) Medical forms at my doctor's office
V) Job applications
I) Official signs regarding important information
L) Course syllabus

Places Where I've Seen Comic Sans MS And Not Had A Problem With It:
1) I used to write papers in that font, in the sixth grade.

People need to stop using Comic Sans MS. I don't want to see that font. Ever.

Song:
"Animal" by Neon Trees

I know it only came out in 2010, but I swear I've heard that song before. I just cannot figure out where. It's bothering me. I feel like it's older than it actually is.

I'm probably just going crazy.

Don't Wanna See It On My Windowsill

My friends and I recently hooked up my old Nintendo 64, and have begun playing some of the better games for it again. The result? I am officially hooked on Donkey Kong 64 again. That game is incredible. The graphics have held up through the years. The controls are still just fine. And it's long. We're talking 20+ hours. For the N64. That's crazy.

I find it kind of sad that I forgot how good that game was. Before last week, I remembered bits and pieces of it, but not the sheer enormity of it. This is probably because I never actually finished DK64. I tried. Many times actually. But I never seemed to have the attention span, skill, or determination to do so (this was also back when I was too stuck up to use a guide).

Playing it now though, I'm blown away. Again. The only other game that I've ever been blown away by multiple times is Ocarina of Time (and this is mostly due to understanding how insane that game's story is as I got older), so that's really saying something. It takes a lot for a game to wow me twice.

Due to this, I've actually had a hard time playing other games. DK64 just feels better than the rest. I really wish I had a working N64 emulator, because then I wouldn't even be writing this.

My recent love affair with DK64 has led to a few other things. First off, it's driving my friends crazy (because I won't shut up about it). Second, I have that I absolutely loved the N64/PSX era. LOVED IT. I talk about those games all the time. And very few games have been quite as incredible since.

That's not to say I'm not happy with the current console generation. Far from it. It's just that I really miss the N64. Those were simpler times.

On that note, Bulletstorm looks awesome, and you can bet your ass I'm getting that when it comes out.

List! I haven't done a list in a while, and I actually have one today.

N64 Games I Still Play on a Regular Basis:

N) Ocarina of Time
I) Majora's Mask
N) Donkey Kong 64
T) Glover
E) Starfox 64
N) Super Smash Bros.
D) Golden Eye 007
O) Banjo Kazooie/Tooie

Yeah, those games rock. I play others, but not as frequently. I just want to get out of class to go play, to be honest.

Also, you may notice that Conker's Bad Fur Day is not on that list. I still don't have a copy. And I want one. Badly. I'll do anything for it. Please.

Whoa. Need to stop with that begging thing. Not very becoming of me.

Song:
"Windowsill" by Arcade Fire. They're awesome, but you probably already new that.

Odds are there will be a double post today, or something posted early tomorrow morning. I started this post on Monday and sort of forgot about it. Oops.

Sparkle Like Bowie in the Morning Sun

New semester! I'm not surprised by this, but I am incredibly glad to be back at school. I actually like being here. Unlike home. Long Island is boring (and I'm whiney and jaded).

Surprisingly, I only have a couple of classes where not paying attention will not affect my grade. So it looks like less distractions? Probably not. Doodling is fun.

Actual classwork aside, I actually tried my hardest to not get sidetracked in class this semester, and I've already failed. The new Mac App Store is to blame, I guess (I can't blame myself!).

I stupidly thought I could quickly browse over the Top Downloads section of the store, make note of the Top 10, and then be done with it. I should know better. I quickly became engrossed in the free social networking apps to play around with (I don't like most of them, too clunky), and suddenly 20 minutes had gone by.

I didn't dare look at the Free Games list. That would have been the end of me.

What's really sad is that the App Store is still open and I'm going back to it every so often, even while I'm writing this.

To be honest, I love the App Store. It was a long time coming, and now that it exists, it is amazing. It's organized. It's quick. When you download an app, it immediately goes into your dock and installs itself, so you can run it as soon as you're done. There is a rating and review section. It's pretty much the iPhone/iPad App Store, but with, you know, real applications (not that mobile apps aren't real).

What makes me the happiest, thought, is the game section and the policy Apple has for developers to upload. Anyone can submit an app, and if Apple approves it, the developer names their price, and makes 70% of the profits. That's pretty awesome for indie developers, or those who wish to become a developer.

Did I mention that I'm currently working on an iOS/Mac game with some friends? No? Oops. More on that when we do more work.

I'm done pleasuring Steve Jobs now.

In other news, I'm faced with the same game dilemma I had a year ago. Too many games coming out too close to each other with no money in my pockets. I won't complain about the cost of games in detail right now, but they are way too expensive. Producers need to get over themselves.

I hate having to decide which game I should get, and which I should hear about and drool over until I either get a job or rob a bank. Bleh.

In all honesty, this semester looks to be a productive one for me. I've got my camera ready, some potential interviews to set up, and a whole lot of editing to do, and I can't wait.

Also, I'm glad I have a camera, because we're supposed to get a crazy snowstorm tomorrow, and who wants to miss out on filming that?

No list today. Check back another time.

Song of the day:

"Vampire Money"

by My Chemical Romance

If you haven't, check out the new album. It's pretty good. Vampire Money is my favorite track.

Good day sir.

I SAID GOOD DAY!